IN THE NAME OF ALLAH THE MOST GRACIOUS, THE MOST MERCIFUL
INTRODUCTION
Many of the Muslim women of today are wrongly taking celebrities, and now influencers as roles models with the growth of social media. The examples given by these people are nothing short of a gross misrepresentation of what the purpose of our lives should be. The over emphasis and glorification of the dunya, beauty, body, clothings, properties as well as immoral lifestyle have actually attracted even many Muslims to follow these people on various social media platform such as Facebook, Instagram, Tweeter and YouTube, with many unislamic and dire consequences – that this is how they want to be and emulate eventually.
MOTHER OF THE BELIEVERS
Allah has Provided us with numerous role models with great, exemplary characters which we must really try and revive and emulate inshaAllah. Steps2Allah will begin our series of Role Model lectures with a focus on the wives of prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him), mainly Khadijah (RA) and ‘Aishah (RA).
النَّبِيُّ أَولىٰ بِالمُؤمِنينَ مِن أَنفُسِهِم ۖ وَأَزواجُهُ أُمَّهاتُهُم
“The Prophet is closer to the believers than their ownselves, and his wives are their (believers’) mothers (as regards respect and marriage)…” 33: 6
The wives of prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) is the epitome of goodness and should be taken as role models by the women of today. That is why the wives of prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) are called mothers of the believers, not just on the basis of their right to be respected, but also on the fact that no believers must marry them after the death of our prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him).
وَما كانَ لَكُم أَن تُؤذوا رَسولَ اللَّهِ وَلا أَن تَنكِحوا أَزواجَهُ مِن بَعدِهِ أَبَدًا
“… And it is not (right) for you that you should annoy Allah’s Messenger, nor that you should ever marry his wives after him (his death). ..” 33: 53
LIFE STORY
(taken from the website www.hadithoftheday.com)
Umm-Al-Mu’minīn (Mother of Believers) أمّ المؤمنين
Note: For ease of reading, we have not inserted “May Allah be pleased with her (RA)” each time Khadijah’s RA name or the name of each Companion is mentioned, but please take it that the salutations apply to all of them, may Allah be pleased with them all.
Narrated Ali: I heard the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) saying, “Mary, the daughter of Imran, was the best among the women (of the world of her time) and Khadijah is the best amongst the women (of this nation).”
Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 58 Hadith 164
If there was a woman in Islam to be emulated by the women of our ummah, Khadijah surely ranks at the top. She is the first of the Mother of Believers, the title of veneration and respect given to all the wives of the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him), and has the unique position of not only being the first woman, but also the first person, to embrace Islam.
As she passed away in the early stages of Muhammad’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) prophethood, the details of her life were not extensively documented to the same level as that of many other Companions.
However, from existing sources, we know that Khadijah came from a noble family. Her father Khuwaylid had been one of the most honoured leaders of their tribe until he was killed in battle. Her husband had also died, leaving her a very wealthy widow. She was renowned for her splendid character, wealth and beauty. Khadijah was also known as Ameera-Quraysh, Princess of Quraysh, and al-Tahira, the Pure One, due to her impeccable personality and virtuous character, not to mention her honourable descent.
After the death of her first husband, she shouldered the operation of her commercial holdings on her own, and to a large extent, was responsible for taking care of her own well being. When Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) was still a young man, she entrusted him with some of her wealth, asking him to trade with it in Syria on her behalf. He returned from Syria after having made a large profit for Khadijah. By then, he was already well known for his honesty, truthfulness and trustworthiness, and these qualities, rather than his business acumen, captured Khadijah’s attention.
After hearing his account of the journey, she decided that he would make the best of the husbands. To be borne in mind is that at that time, she was a woman of flourishing wealth and high status, and it was socially and financially befitting for her to have married one of the many important nobles of the Quraish who had already proposed to her. However, she had the integrity and nobility to instead recognise strength of character she saw in Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) which superseded any wealth, social status or elite bloodline. Being a lady of strong character and decisive nature, she set out to propose to him.
After the Prophet’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) uncle, Abu Talib, had given the proposed marriage his blessing, Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) and Khadijah were married. At the time of the marriage, the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) was twenty-five years old, while Khadijah was forty years old. She was the Prophet’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) first wife, and the only woman whom he married prior to his prophethood. Another remarkable fact about this marriage is that the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) married no other until after her death.
Their happy union resulted in Khadijah bearing several children. Sadly, their first child, a son whom they named Qasim, died when he was only two years old. Two more sons, called Tayyib and Tahir, were also born, but they too died in their infancy. However, after being commissioned to prophethood, Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) and Khadijah had four daughters who survived: Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum and Fatima. Khadijah is the only one of his wives to bear the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) children who survived to adulthood. None of his other wives bore him children, apart from Maria the Copt, whose son, Ibrahim, also died during infancy.
Over the years, the more Khadijah came to know about her husband, the more she loved and respected him. Everyone in Mecca called him ‘al-Amin’, which means ‘the trustworthy one’, and she, more than anyone else, knew how fitting this name was.
It became Muhammad’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) custom each year to spend the month of Ramadan in seclusion and reflection in a cave on the mountain of Hira, which is on the outskirts of Mecca. Khadijah would always make sure that he was provided with food and drink during his retreat. Such was her love to him that sometimes she would accompany him for a few days during his seclusion, never saying a word to him during that time so as not to interrupt his contemplations. How many women in history would have that deep level of understanding for their husbands’ needs, and practice restraint in speech and action if confronted with similar behaviour from their husbands? The typical wife would instead complain of neglect. Yet, Khadijah never gave him a hard time for his long periods of absence, for she appreciated and respected his spiritual needs to ponder, reflect and unite his heart with his Creator.
Around the fifteenth year of their marriage, towards the end of Ramadan, when he was forty and Khadijah fifty-five, Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) suddenly appeared at their house in the middle of the night, trembling with fear and saying, “Cover me up, cover me up!”
Khadijah was very alarmed to see him in such a state. Quickly she wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and, when he had calmed down, she asked him to describe exactly what had happened. He told her how a being whom he had never seen before – in fact it was the angel Jibreel AS – had suddenly appeared to him and had said, “Read!”
“But I cannot read,” he had replied, for he was unlettered and could neither read nor write. “Read!” the angel had repeated, clasping Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) close to his chest. “I cannot read,” he had repeated. “Read!” the angel had repeated, firmly embracing him yet again. “What shall I read?” he had asked in desperation, and the angel had replied:
“Read, in the Name of your Lord who created, created man from a clot, Read, and your Lord is the Most Gracious, Who taught with the pen, taught man what he did not know.” (Qur’an 96:1-5)
And so began a lifechanging event. Not just his life, but from that point onwards, the course of mankind took a different turn. Although Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) did not fully realise it at the time, this was the beginning of the revelation of the Qur’an, and in the first years of revelation, Khadijah was instrumental in being not only his wife and companion, but a constant source of emotional, moral and financial support for him. More than once, he turned to her for advice and comfort, and was guided by her wisdom. In all senses of the word, she was a true Mother of the Believers.
For example, after that first encounter with the angel Jibreel AS, Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) was very frightened, not knowing if he was going mad and imagining things, or if he had been possessed by one of the jinn. He clambered downhill as fast as he could and headed home to relate his experience to his beloved wife.
As she listened to the Prophet’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) words, Khadijah did not share any of these fears. She realised that something tremendous and awe-inspiring had happened to her husband, and she was certain, knowing him as she did, that he was neither mad nor possessed.
“Do not worry,” she said, “for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah’s soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.”
In another incident, Aisha narrated that the Messenger of Allah was sitting down with Khadijah shortly after the first revelation. He then saw a person between the heaven and the earth and told Khadijah what he saw. She asked him to move closer to her, and after he did so, asked whether he still saw the person. He replied affirmatively. She then told him to put his head in her garment (and in other reports, it was narrated that she removed her hijab) and asked whether Muhammad SAW still saw the person. He answered in the negative, for the person had vanished. She told him to relax, that the person had to be an angel (in the form of a human being), for the devil would have had no shame to stay on and watch.
Such was her reaction – she had such confidence in his integrity and soundness of mind and spirit, and she possessed such maturity of thought, that she immediately quelled his anxiety and doubts of his sanity and instead gave him support from the very first moment his Prophethood came into being.
When Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) was a little more relaxed, Khadijah took him to see her cousin, Waraqa ibn Nawfal, for he was a man of knowledge. She was sure that he would be able to explain the meaning of what had just happened to her beloved husband. Waraqa had studied the books of both the Jews and the Christians very closely and he had learned a great deal from many of their wisest people. He knew that the coming of another Prophet had been foretold by both Moses and Jesus, peace be on them, and he knew many of the signs that would confirm the identity of this Prophet when he appeared.
After listening closely to his story, Waraqa, who was both old and blind, exclaimed, “This is the same being who brought the revelations of Allah to Moses. I wish I was young and could be alive when your people will drive you out.”
“Will they drive me out?” asked Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him).
“Yes,” replied Waraqa. “No one has come with what you have been given without being treated with enmity; and if I were to live until the day when you are turned out, then I would support you with all my might. Let me just feel your back.” So, saying, Waraqa felt between the Prophet’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) shoulder-blades and found what he was feeling for: a small round, slightly raised irregularity in the skin. This was yet another of the many signs that Waraqa already knew would indicate the identity of the next prophet after Isa AS.
“This is the Seal of the Prophethood!” he exclaimed. “Now I am certain that you are indeed the Prophet whose coming was foretold in the Torah that was revealed to Musa AS and in the Injil that was revealed to Isa AS. You are indeed the Messenger of Allah, and the being who appeared to you on the mountain was indeed the angel Jibreel AS!”
Khadijah was both overjoyed and awed to find that her understanding of what had happened on the mountain had been confirmed. There was a period of break after the first revelation (Falrat al wahi – break in revelation). This break was to calm the prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him), as the first revelation was causing great stress on him (Peace and Blessings be upon him). This break of revelation should prepare him for what were to happen, as it is followed by a second revelation which would prepare him for other revelations and this prophetic mission.
It has been confirmed in the Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim on the authority of Abu Salamah that Jabir bin `Abdullah informed him that he heard the Messenger of Allah speaking about the time period (of the pause in) revelation. The Prophet said,
(While I was walking I heard a voice from the sky. So I lifted my gaze towards the sky and saw the same angel who had come to me at the cave of Hira’. He was sitting on a chair between the sky and the earth. So I fled from him (in fear) until I fell down to the ground. Then, I went to my family and I said, `Wrap me up, wrap me up. So, they wrapped me up! So Allah revealed, (O you wrapped up! Arise and warn!) Until (And keep away) ﴿Here, Abu Salamah added, `Ar-Rujz means idols.’﴾ (After this, the revelation started coming strongly and frequently in succession.) This is the wording of Al-Bukhari. The way this Hadith is narrated necessitates that revelation had descended before this. This is due to the Prophet’s statement,
(The same angel who had come to me at the cave of Hira’.)” That angel was Jibril, who had came to him with Allah’s statement,
﴿ ٱقۡرَأۡ بِٱسۡمِ رَبِّكَ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ • خَلَقَ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ مِنۡ عَلَقٍ • ٱقۡرَأۡ وَرَبُّكَ ٱلۡأَكۡرَمُ • ٱلَّذِى عَلَّمَ بِٱلۡقَلَمِ • عَلَّمَ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ مَا لَمۡ يَعۡلَمۡ ﴾
(Read! In the Name of your Lord Who has created. He has created man from a clot. Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous. Who has taught by the pen. He has taught man that which he knew not.) (96:1-5)
After this first occurrence (in the cave) there was a period of time that passed, then the angel descended again.
Imam Ahmad recorded from Abu Salamah bin `Abdur-Rahman that Jabir bin `Abdullah informed him that he heard the Messenger of Allah saying,
(Then the revelation ceased coming to me for a period of time. Then, while I was walking, I heard a voice from the sky. So I lifted my gaze towards the sky to see the same angel who had come to me, sitting on a chair between the sky and the earth. So I fled from him a short distance before I fell down to the ground. Then I came to my family and said to them, `Wrap me up, wrap me up! So, they wrapped me up! Then Allah revealed, (O you wrapped up! Arise and warn! And magnify your Lord. And purify your garments. And keep away from Ar-Rujz!)( After this, the revelation started coming strongly and frequently in succession.) They both (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) recorded this Hadith by way of Az-Zuhri. At-Tabarani recorded from Ibn `Abbas that he said, “Verily, Al-Walid bin Al-Mughirah prepared some food for the Quraysh. So when they had eaten from it he said, `What do you have to say about this man’ Some of them said, `He is a magician.’ Others said, `He is not a magician.’ Then some of them said, `He is a soothsayer.’ But others said, `He is not a soothsayer.’ Some of them said, `He is a poet.’ But others said, `He is not a poet.’ Some of them said, `This is magic from that of old.’ Thus, they eventually all agreed that it was magic from ancient times. Then, when this news reached the Prophet , he became grieved, covered his head and wrapped himself up. This is when Allah revealed,
﴿ يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلۡمُدَّثِّرُ • قُمۡ فَأَنذِرۡ • وَرَبَّكَ فَكَبِّرۡ • وَثِيَابَكَ فَطَهِّرۡ • وَٱلرُّجۡزَ فَٱهۡجُرۡ • وَلَا تَمۡنُن تَسۡتَكۡثِرُ • وَلِرَبِّكَ فَٱصۡبِرۡ ﴾
(O you enveloped in garments! Arise and warn! And magnify your Lord (Allah)! And purify your garments! And keep away from Ar-Rujz (the idols)! And give not a thing in order to have more (or consider not your deeds of obedience to Allah as a favour to Him). And be patient for the sake of your Lord (i.e., perform your duty to Allah)!)
“cover me up, cover me up”. زَمِّلُونِي زَمِّلُونِي
Then Allah sent the second revelation in surah 74 (first 5 verses):
يا أَيُّهَا المُدَّثِّرُ O you (Muhammad) enveloped (in garments)!
قُم فَأَنذِر Arise and warn!
وَرَبَّكَ فَكَبِّر And your Lord (Allah) magnify!
وَثِيابَكَ فَطَهِّر And your garments purify!
وَالرُّجزَ فَاهجُر And keep away from Ar-Rujz (the idols)!
From then on, the revelations became more intense and continuous.
It was at this point that Khadijah did not hesitate in expressing in public what she had known for certain: “I bear witness that there is no god except Allah,” she said, “and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.” Thus her love of her husband had expanded into something greater and far more profound, being the love of Allah and His Messenger.
In the difficult years that followed in which the leaders of the Quraish did everything in their power to stop the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) spreading his message, Khadijah was a constant source of help and comfort to Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) in the difficulties which he had to face.
It is not known exactly how long they were married for, however piecing together information that they were married for 15 years prior to the first revelation, and that the Year of Sadness (the year in which Khadijah passed away) took place in the eighth or ninth year after the first revelation, they were married for approximately 23 to 25 years. Even though they suffered personal tragedy in the deaths of their sons, and later faced the persecution of the Quraish, their marriage was a happy and harmonious one. During this time, all of Khadijah’s wealth was spent in the way of Allah, helping to spread the message of her husband, helping to free slaves who had embraced Islam, and helping to feed and shelter the community of Muslims that slowly but surely began to grow in numbers and strength. She freed the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) of all labour, so that he could spend his time calling the people towards Allah. She was the mother of his household and the caretaker of his family.
Meanwhile the Quraish were infuriated by the Prophet’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) success and did everything in their power to discourage both him and his followers, often inflicting awful tortures on them. The situation became so bad that the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) told some of his followers to go to Abyssinia, where their ruler, the Negus, who was a sincere Christian gave them shelter and protection. Eventually there came a time when, as Waraqa had foretold, Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) and his followers -along with all the members of his tribe, the Banu Hashim were driven out of the city of Mecca and forced to camp out in a small ravine in the mountains nearby. This happened long after Waraqa had died, and about six or seven years after that extraordinary night of power in which Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) had received the first revelation. There, while their homes lay empty in Mecca, the Muslims were exposed to the bitterly cold nights of winter and the fiery hot days of summer, with very little food and shelter. No one would buy and sell with the Muslims, or allow their sons and daughters to marry any of them. Fortunately those who secretly sympathised with the Muslims would send what food they could to them whenever the chance arose. At times, the food rations were so depleted that they had to eat leaves and barks of trees.
During these harsh times, Khadijah remained a loyal and patient companion and wife, often giving Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) wise and compassionate counsel, which reinforced him emotionally. Her support would constantly strengthen him in his mission to spread the Message.
For three years the small Muslim community lived in exile, cut off from their kith and kin and enduring a life of hardship and deprivation. However, although they suffered from hunger and thirst, and from exposure to the elements, this was a time in which the hearts of the first Muslims were both purified and also filled with the light of knowledge and wisdom. The Muslims knew that they were following the truth, and so nothing else mattered. Sadly, these long and difficult months left Khadijah physically weakened.
Finally the boycott was lifted and the Muslims were allowed to re-enter the city; but the three years of hardship had taken their toll on her health. She spent her last days in the loving care of her husband and daughters. Here was one of the wealthiest women in the Arabian Peninsula, who had spent all she had of her material wealth in the path of Allah that she did not even have a piece of bread in her house when she died.
In some narrations, it was said that in the final moments of her life, angel Jibreel AS descended, giving her (through the Messenger(Peace and Blessings be upon him)) greetings from Allah Himself, with the glad tidings of her palace in jannah.
Why was she so exalted and elevated in the eyes of Allah?
Let us pause and take a look at our lives today. The husband and wife keep careful count of their spending, and very few women would willingly give up their wealth in supporting their husbands’ noble causes. How many women would be willing to sacrifice personal luxuries for a higher cause? Khadijah went further than sacrificing her material comforts, she gave all that she had for the path of Allah. Instead of complaining about the hardship of her situation, she supported her husband without argument, resistance or complaint. She did not demand gifts, vacations, or even attention, for she knew that she had a higher cause than to indulge in the mere trivialities of dunia. She put the needs of her husband above her personal needs for the sake of Allah, and as a result, the Prophet’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) love and admiration for her overshadowed those that he bore for the wives that he married after her death. We wish for the glory of having her as our companion in Jannah, but how many of us have the sincerity to emulate her exemplary behaviour and sacrifice even a fraction of what she did for Islam, financially, physically and emotionally?
Khadijah had been the first to publicly accept Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) as the Messenger of Allah, and she had never stopped doing all she could to help him. Love and mercy had grown between them, increasing in quality and depth as the years passed by, and not even death could take this love away. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) never stopped loving Khadijah, and although he married several more wives in later years and loved them all, it is clear that Khadijah always had a special place in his heart. Her death left a space in his heart that none other could fill. Indeed whenever Aisha, his third wife, heard the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) speak of Khadijah, or saw him sending food to Khadijah’s old friends and relatives, she could not help feeling jealous of her, because of the love that the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) still had for her.
Once Aisha asked him if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) replied: “She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand.”
It had been related by Abu Huraira that on one occasion, when Khadijah was still alive, Jibreel AS came to the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is just coming with a bowl of soup (or food or drink) for you. When she comes to you, give her greetings of peace from her Lord and from me, and give her the good news of a palace of jewels in the Garden, where there will be neither any noise nor any tiredness.” Some interpret this as a reflection and reward for the calm and tranquil environment that she herself generated for her husband.
Khadijah was estimated to be around sixty-five years old at the time of her death, three years before Prophet Muhammad’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) Hijrah to Medina. The Prophet’s (Peace and Blessings be upon him) uncle, Abu Talib had died a few months earlier the same year. Their deaths would bring great tragedy to the life of Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) as these were two people who provided him great sources of comfort and strength when faced with persecution.
However, Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) worked to be sure that Khadijah was remembered in the best light, and honoured her even after her death. If a gift was sent to Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him) he would not hesitate to have the gift sent to a woman who was a friend of Khadijah, showing the kindness and compassion that Khadijah exhibited during her life.
What an honour to be a woman chosen to be the first one to believe in the last revelation on earth.
What an honour to be the first and most beloved wife of the final Prophet and Messenger of Allah’s religion.
What an honour to devote your life, your love, your wealth, just to please Allah and to support His Prophet and the Message of Allah.
What an honour to be sent the greetings, not by a human being, but from your own Lord, and delivered by one of the most highest exalted angels, Jibreel AS, to deliver those greetings.
What an honour to know who you are, where you’re going, and your status in Akhirah.
What an honour to receive the news of how your palace will look like in Jannah.
What an honour for a woman, life, death and legacy!
Source:
Ibn Kathir: Wives of the Prophet Muhammad SAW
“Great Women of Islam” by Mahmood Ahmad Ghadanfar
“Women Around the Messenger” by Muhammad Qutb
LESSONS WE MUST LEARN FROM THE MOTHER OF BELIEVERS, KHADIJAH (RA)
(some points taken from Rayyan Institute)
#1 Live a life of taqwa
When piety is discussed nowadays, people fear the topic, strangely they dread the change it will bring in their lives. Praising those who adopt the quality of taqwa -defined by the scholars as God-Fearing piety i.e. abstinence from every deed that displeases the Creator- Allah Most High says in the Qur’an:
“Verily the most honourable of you by Allah is the one who has the most taqwa.” (49:13)
This quality of taqwa was so strongly embedded in the nature of our mother, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her), that, in a hadith, Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) described her as “the best amongst the women (of this nation)”. (Bukhari)
Living a life of taqwa brings out a person’s true worth. It makes one realise the true value of this life instead of just living to fulfill our base desires.
Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) had sought out the truth from her learned cousin Waraqa long before the establishment of faith in Arabia. She was one of those special few who lived an upright life even in the days of ignorance (jahiliyyah) and guarded herself from the unscrupulous traits that were prevalent in that era. She was for this reason well-known by the name of Tahirah (one who is pure and untainted).
Lesson: Instill in yourself the qualities of piety and abstention from sin, even though it may go against the social standards or practices that are prevalent in the society and even though you may face opposition for staying upright.
#2 Cherish the bonds of marriage
More often than not we hear complaints of spouses, how they each prefer spending time away from each other rather than together. Arguing and squabbling has become the norm in many homes. It takes a considerable effort and sacrifice on the part of both spouses to keep the spark of love alive in the home.
A woman can positively enhance the environment of her home with the décor of her good character and disposition. As it is said, “Life’s pleasures are doubled with a devoted and pious partner”.
Even during trying times when society was opposing her husband, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) stood strong as a pillar of support for him and refused to give up. Due to her excellent nature, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) always held a special place in the heart of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) even though he married several more wives in the later years. Her death left a special place in His heart that none other could fill.
The warm nature and love displayed by Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) in her marital home was exemplary. She always remained a constant source of contentment for her husband, she built their home upon the foundation of tranquility and never left any stone unturned in inculcating piety in her family.
When Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) was a child, she would sometimes ask Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) questions which displayed her vast intelligence and aptitude. Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) once asked her mother, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her), “My beloved mother! Will we be able to see Allah, who created us and everything in this world?” Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) replied, “My daughter! If we worship Allah in this world, be kind to his servants, abstain from that which he has prohibited us, do not ascribe partners to him, understand him only to be worthy of worship, and bring iman in his Messenger, then on the Day of Qiyamah we will most certainly see Allah. On that day reckoning will be taken for the good and evil one commits.’’ (Hundred Stories of Fatimah (May Allah be pleased with her), p. 33, Zam Zam Publishers).
Lesson: Cherish your spouse and work hard to build your family on a strong set of values if you are married or make a firm intention to instill these Islamic values in your family and offspring in time to come, if you are still in the process of seeking marriage.
#3 Loyalty to one’s spouse and being a pillar of support for those in need
When one’s spouse is facing difficulties, a quality of a good husband or wife is that one consoles the other instead of compounding problems by ranting and complaining. The Glorious Qur’an states:
وَالطَّيِّباتُ لِلطَّيِّبينَ وَالطَّيِّبونَ لِلطَّيِّباتِ
“Pure women are for pure men and pure men are for pure women.” (24:26)
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was the purest of creation and thus was blessed by Allah with a partner who was on a high level of purity fitting with his lofty status, who was his pillar of strength at one of the most crucial periods in the history of Islam.
After receiving the first revelation, Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) was clearly shaken. He sought refuge in the secure and safe world of Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) who had uttered the words that relieved all his sorrows and pain. Instead of panicking, she exuded a calm, comforting demeanour and assured him by saying, “Allah will never forsake You, You maintain ties and always speak the truth” (Bukhari).
Through every outrage and persecution of the people of Makkah, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was his dearest companion and helper.
Lesson: This life is too limited to fuss over little details. Be the source of encouragement that others need instead of being a burden to them.
#4 Racing towards good
At the time when your eyes close, the chance to earn reward stops. It will not be possible then to get the reward of one glorification of Allah or one minute good deed. We need to gather our treasures for the next life while we are alive. The more we race to goodness, the more we will store in our balances for the hereafter.
Allah Most High says in the Qur’an:
“Race towards virtue.” (5:48)
Success in executing this command was clearly portrayed in the life of Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her). She was so far ahead, it was difficult, almost impossible for anyone to surpass her and her virtues. Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was the first to hear the message of Allah when it was freshly revealed. At such a crucial time, she was not going to leave the Best of Humanity alone. She immediately declared her faith in him and in all that was revealed to him. She was the first to pray with him, the prayer taught by Angel Jibril (peace be upon him).
A narration of Sahih Muslim mentions that “whosoever sets a good precedent in Islam will receive the reward for it and the reward of all those who practice on this (deed) after him, without any of their rewards being decreased”. Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) along with the other forerunners of faith set a precedent for later generations on how to accept the truth when it is presented, and they will thus be rewarded for this till the end of time.
Lesson: Seize the opportunity to do good wherever you can. Do not postpone any good deed for tomorrow as you might not know if a tomorrow will come for you, or how your condition might change.
#5 Rewarding goodness with goodness
We live in a world filled with selfishness, people say things like “Don’t go the extra mile for those who won’t take one step for you”. Some go around thinking that the world owes them, expecting all good to fall at their feet without putting out the goodness first. There is a wise saying: “Do good and don’t care who takes the credit”. Allah’s rule is that he lets no good go unrecognised and unrewarded. He is Shakur, the All-Appreciative. If you love him and do work for his sake, he will accept you and place love for you in the hearts of his creation.
People gain merit through the sacrifices they make. The Qur’an promises this by stating:
هَل جَزاءُ الإِحسانِ إِلَّا الإِحسانُ
“Is there any reward for good other than good?” (55:60)
Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) earned her place in the heart of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) who often described her worth. He would mention Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her)’s name at every opportunity talking of her virtues to whoever He saw.
Once ‘A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) enquired from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) about Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) to which He replied: “She believed in me when no one else did, she accepted Islam when people rejected me and she helped and comforted me when there was no other helping hand.” (Tabarani, Mu’jam al-Kabir)
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) never even forgot her loved ones. He would often slaughter a sheep and send portions of it to the friends of his beloved Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her).
Lesson: Just like Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) earned her lofty status through struggle and service, we too can strive to sincerely assist humanity while solely expecting compensation from Allah. The good you do will be cherished in the hearts of those around you, your legacy will be etched into their minds and this will reflect in the stories they share about you.
#6 Being a good parent
Nowadays a widespread problem is that children are neglected due to parents being engrossed in their careers. Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) never let her wealth and status come in the way of love and affection. She never neglected her family and raised them well.
Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) had the honour of bearing the offspring of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). He said the following in praise of her: “She supported me from her property and Allah gave me children through her.” (Ahmad)
Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was an excellent parent and this can be determined from the fact that she brought up her children so perfectly amidst all the challenges she faced in the initial stages of prophethood. Her daughters were honoured with being accepted into the marriages of prominent khulafa (leaders) and her youngest daughter, Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) was well known for her compassionate and gentle personality and was given the glad tidings of being the leader of the women in Paradise.
Lesson: No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?
#7 Exchanging gifts to increase love
Once the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saw a necklace of His beloved Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) which she had gifted to her daughter Zaynab (may Allah be pleased with her) on her marriage. He became sentimental and emotional as this took Him back to the blessed times spent with Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) in Makkah. Exchanging gifts is a proven practice from the Sunnah to melt the hearts of near and dear ones.
A hadith mentions that “gifts to each other increase mutual love” (Bayhaqi). The above-mentioned account shows us the truth of this exhortation and we see how the love was sensed even much later.
Lesson: The upper hand is better than the lower hand. Many people are habituated only to take, but the superior ones are those who give. Give freely from what you own and don’t fear a decrease from Allah, The Owner of the Mighty Throne.
#8 Preparing for the Akhirah
During her lifetime Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was informed of a serene palace in Jannah for her due to her efforts and sacrifice. What an honour to know where you are going, and your status in the afterlife!
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that on one occasion Angel Jibril (peace be upon him) came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is coming to you with a bowl of soup. When she comes to you give her greetings from her Lord and from me and give her the glad tidings of a palace of pearls in paradise, where there will be no noise or tiredness” (Bukhari). Some interpret this to be a reward for the calm and tranquil environment that she afforded to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).
After her passing, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was dearly missed by the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and her absence affected him deeply. He would return to visit her resting place as if to refresh the memories of her loyalty and devotion. History proves undeniably that the world has never seen the likes of her.
Lesson: Seek knowledge about deeds that will build palaces for you in the hereafter and put them into practice. Seek Allah’s pleasure and ask him for Jannah and abstain from his displeasure and seek protection from the Hellfire.
# 9. Patience
#10. Grateful to Allah
#11. A great deal of wisdom
# 12. Steadfastness and istiqomah
#13. She is the epitome of the “sabiqoon” in surah al Waqiah (56) verse 10
﴿ وَٱلسَّـٰبِقُونَ ٱلسَّـٰبِقُونَ ﴾
“And those foremost will be foremost.”
The meaning of foremost is that they were foremost in performing the acts of righteousness just as Allah commanded them,
﴿ وَسَارِعُوٓاْ إِلَىٰ مَغۡفِرَةٍ۬ مِّن رَّبِّڪُمۡ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرۡضُهَا ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتُ وَٱلۡأَرۡضُ ﴾
“And march forth in the way to forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth.” (3:133) and,
﴿ سَابِقُوٓاْ إِلَىٰ مَغۡفِرَةٍ۬ مِّن رَّبِّكُمۡ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرۡضُہَا كَعَرۡضِ ٱلسَّمَآءِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِ ﴾
(Race with one another in hastening towards forgiveness from your Lord, and Paradise the width whereof is as the width of the heaven and the earth.)(57:21)
Therefore, those who rush to obey Allah in this life and are foremost in performing acts of righteousness, will be among the foremost believers honored in the Hereafter. Verily, the reward is according to the kind of deed, and as one does, so he is judged. So Allah said:
﴿ أُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ ٱلۡمُقَرَّبُونَ • فِى جَنَّـٰتِ ٱلنَّعِيمِ ﴾
“These will be the nearest (to Allah). In the Gardens of Delight.” (56: 11-12)
CONCLUSION
We cannot find a better person to begin our series of talks on the role models in Islam. If we want to know what Islam is all about, then one simply would look at the life of Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid (RA). As a person, a wife, a mother, a business person, a friend – she truly represents the image of Islam which one should strive to emulate.
May Allah Grant our mother, Khadijah (RA) with the very best in the Hereafter and Grant is with the ability to possess her qualities and eventually to meet her (RA) in Jannah.
