CULTURE VERSUS ISLAM

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH THE MOST GRACIOUS, THE MOST MERCIFUL

Definition of culture from the Cambridge English dictionary:  the way of life, especially the general customs and beliefs, of a particular group of people at a particular time.

Islam – If you refer to Arabic language dictionaries you will find out that the meaning of the word Islam is: submission, humbling oneself, and obeying commands and heeding prohibitions without objection, sincerely worshipping Allaah alone, believing what He tells us and having faith in Him.

It is a way of life, right from birth until our very last breath – every action, movement, from the heart to the limbs all governed by Allah’s commands as stated in the Qur’an and through His Messenger, Muhammad SallAllaahu alayhi wa salaam.

From the Qur’an:

“….This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion….” Qur’an surah 5 verse 3

“Truly, the religion with Allah is Islam….” Qur’an surah 3 verse 19

“O you who believe! Fear Allah (by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. [Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always], and die not except in a state of Islam (as Muslims) with complete submission to Allah.”                        Qur’an surah 3 verse 102

General Principles of Islam

• Tawheed
• purpose of life ONLY to worship Allah
• Allah Provides Guidance through the Qur’an and His Messenger
• Complete submission – NOT even 99% but 100%
• Islam as a way of life – NOT just in the mosque or during Ramadan
• 24 hours a day
• Applies everywhere you go
• No compromise
• Until death

We also understood of the role of prophet Muhammad SallAllaahu alayhi wa salaam:

“Muhammad () is the Messenger of Allah, and those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves. You see them bowing and falling down prostrate (in prayer), seeking Bounty from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure. The mark of them (i.e. of their Faith) is on their faces (foreheads) from the traces of (their) prostration (during prayers). This is their description in the Taurat (Torah). But their description in the Injeel (Gospel) is like a (sown) seed which sends forth its shoot, then makes it strong, it then becomes thick, and it stands straight on its stem, delighting the sowers that He may enrage the disbelievers with them. Allah has promised those among them who believe (i.e. all those who follow Islamic Monotheism, the religion of Prophet Muhammad  till the Day of Resurrection) and do righteous good deeds, forgiveness and a mighty reward (i.e. Paradise).” Qur’an surah 48 verse 29

“Say (O Muhammad  to mankind): “If you (really) love Allah then follow me (i.e. accept Islamic Monotheism, follow the Qur’an and the Sunnah), Allah will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Say (O Muhammad ): “Obey Allah and the Messenger (Muhammad ).” But if they turn away, then Allah does not like the disbelievers.”  Qur’an surah 3 verses 31-32

“Indeed in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad ) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much.” Qur’an surah 33 verse 21

Allah Reminded us to strive in His cause

“O you who believe! If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm.

But those who disbelieve (in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism), for them is destruction, and (Allah) will make their deeds vain.

That is because they hate that which Allah has sent down (this Qur’an and Islamic laws, etc.), so He has made their deeds fruitless.”

Qur’an surah 47 verses 7-9

Allah Reminded us to enter perfectly into Islam and Warned us on shaytan

“O you who believe! Enter perfectly in Islam (by obeying all the rules and regulations of the Islamic religion) and follow not the footsteps of Shaitan (Satan). Verily! He is to you a plain enemy.” Qur’an surah 2 verse 208

There must NOT be any compromise on Islam

1. “Do you believe in a part of the Book and reject the rest? Then what is the recompense of those who do so among you, except humiliation in this life, and on the Day of Resurrection, they will be consigned to the most grievous torment !” [Qur’an Al-Baqarah:85]
2. “O you who believe. Obey Allah, and obey His Messenger, and those in command among you. If you dispute any matter, then bring it back to Allah and His Messenger if you believe in Allah and the Day of Judgement.” [Qur’an Al-Nisa:59]
3. “No, by your Lord, they will not become believers until they place you as a judge among themselves, and they find no hardship in their hearts from that which you judged by and submit completely.” [Qur’an Al-Nisa:65]

Narrated by al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer: “That which is halaal is clear and that which is haraam is clear, and between them are doubtful matters which many people do not understand. Whoever guards against the doubtful matters will protect his religious commitment from shortcomings and will protect his honour from slander, but whoever falls into that which is doubtful will fall into that which is haraam …” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2051) and Muslim (1599). And Allaah knows best.

“And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (disbelievers), the splendour of the life of this world that We may test them thereby. But the provision (good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more lasting.” [Qur’an surah Ta-Ha 20:131].

In general cultures are permissible to follow, as long as it does NOT cause us to compromise on our principles in Islam – especially on Tawheed.

General causes where culture may compromise Islam

(A) GREETINGS

• bowing like the Japanese

It is not permissible to bow when meeting anyone, whether he is a scholar or otherwise. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: 

With regard to bowing when greeting someone, it is not allowed, as it was narrated in at-Tirmidhi that they asked the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) about a man who bowed when he meets his brother. He said: “No (do not do that).” That is also because it is not permissible to bow or prostrate except to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, even though doing this by way of greeting was acceptable according to the teachings of earlier Prophets, as in the story of Yoosuf, “…and they fell down before him prostrate. And he said: “O my father! This is the interpretation of my dream aforetime…” [Yoosuf 12:100]. But according to our laws (sharee‘ah), it is not acceptable to prostrate except to Allah. In fact there is even a prohibition on standing up in greeting for one another as the non-Arabs do, so how about bowing and prostrating? That which is a partial bow is also included in the prohibition.

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (1/377) 

And he said: 

With regard to lowering the head before elders such as shaykhs and others, or kissing the ground in front of them, and the like, these are things concerning which there is no dispute among the leading scholars that they are prohibited. In fact merely inclining the back to anyone other than Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, is prohibited. In al-Musnad and elsewhere it is narrated that when Mu‘aadh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) returned from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him and his family), and he said: “What is this, O Mu‘aadh?” He said: O Messenger of Allah, I saw them in Syria prostrating to their bishops and patriarchs, and they attributed that to the teachings of their Prophets. He said: “They are lying, O Mu‘aadh. If I were to instruct anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would have instructed women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that Allah has given them over them. O Mu‘aadh, do you think that if you pass by my grave, you would prostrate?” He said: No. He said: “Then do not do this” – or words to that effect. 

Conclusion: 

Standing up, sitting, bowing and prostrating (which are actions done in the prayer) are due only to the One Who is truly deserving of worship, the Creator of the heavens and the earth. Whatever is due exclusively for Allah cannot be directed to anyone or anything else in any way, as in the case of swearing an oath by anything other than Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. 

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (27/92-93) 

• kissing on the cheeks like the French – among opposite sex, especially cousins, even among same sex.

What is prescribed when meeting is to say salaams and shake hands. If a person has come from a journey then it is prescribed to embrace him. As for kissing at every meeting, this is not part of the Sunnah of greeting, rather it is narrated that this is disallowed. Al-Tirmidhi narrated (2728) that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man said: O Messenger of Allaah, when one of us meets his brother or his friend, should he bow to him? He said: No. He said: Should he embrace him and kiss him? He said: No. He said: Should he take his hand and shake hands with him? He said: Yes. This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi. 

Yes, kissing is prescribed on some occasions, when returning from a journey and the like

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

As for embracing and kissing the face of someone other than a person who has returned from travelling, etc – apart from a child – this is makrooh, as was clearly stated by al-Baghawi and others… As for a handsome beardless youth, it is haraam to kiss him under any circumstances, whether he is returning from a journey or not. It seems that embracing him is akin to kissing him, whether the one who is kissing or the one who is kissed are righteous or otherwise. End quote from al-Majmoo’, 4/477 

Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah (1/74, hadeeth no. 160): This is the hadeeth of al-Tirmidhi that we mentioned at the beginning of our answer: 

In fact the hadeeth clearly states that kissing when meeting is not prescribed in Islam. That does not include kissing one’s children or wife, as is obvious. 

Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: When the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) met, they would shake hands, and if they had come from a journey they would embrace Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat, and its men are the men of saheeh, as stated by al-Mundhiri (3/270), and al-Bayhaqi, 8/36 

Al-Bayhaqi (7/100) narrated with a saheeh isnaad from al-Sha’bi that when the companions of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) met, they would shake hands, and when they came from a journey they would embrace one another. 

Al-Bukhaari narrated in al-Adab al-Mufrad (970), and Ahmad narrated (3/495) that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: I heard that a man knew a hadeeth and had heard it from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). I bought a camel, loaded my luggage onto it, and traveled for a month until I came to Syria, where I found ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Unays. I said to the doorkeeper: Tell him: Jaabir is at the door. He said: Ibn ‘Abd-Allaah? I said: Yes. He came out tripping on his garment and he embraced me and I embraced him… Its isnaad is hasan as stated by al-Haafiz, 1/195. al-Bukhaari narrated it among the mu’aalaq reports. 

• standing up when some important person arrive

It was not the custom of the salaf at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the Rightly-Guided Caliphs to stand up every time they saw him [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as many people do. Rather Anas ibn Maalik said: “No person was dearer to them than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but when they saw him they did not stand up for him because they knew that he disliked that.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2754; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. But they may have stood up for one who was returning from away, in order to greet him, as it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up for ‘Ikrimah, and he said to the Ansaar when Sa’d ibn Mu’aadh came: “Stand up for your chief.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3043; Muslim, 1768. 

Standing up for a newcomer is not the standing mentioned in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever likes the people to stand up for him, let him take his place in Hell.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2755; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.  That refers to when they stand up for him when he is seated; it does not refer to when they stand up to welcome him when he comes. 

It was narrated that al-Bara’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are no two Muslims who meet and shake hands, but they will be forgiven before they part.” Narrated by Abu Dawood and Ahmad; narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi; also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 5212. 

– NOT saying salaam before leaving but saying other things – Allah Hafiz, Khuda Hafiz, and saying Jumaah Mubarak – or saying Happy New Year in Muharram

“Al-Haafith (The Guardian) is in reality Allaah The Almighty, as in His saying (which means):{But Allaah is the best Guardian, and He is the Most Merciful of the merciful.} [Quran 12:64] The meaning of the verse is: “Allaah is the best Guardian amongst you.” Ka’ab Al-Ahbaar said: “When Prophet Ya’aqoob (Jacob)  said {Allaah is the best Guardian}, Allaah said: “I swear by My Glory and My Majesty, I will bring you back both of your sons after you relied on Me (put your trust on Me).”

So, we ask Allaah to protect us and you from all evil, but it is not permissible to replace the greeting of Islam (Assalaamu ‘Alaykum) by the phrase “Allaah Hafiz“;

As regards saying ‘Jumu’ah Mubaarakah’

[i.e. have a blessed Friday]

, then if a Muslim abides by saying this to his Muslim brother after the Jumu’ah prayer or every Friday, we do not know this to be from the Sunnah of the the Prophet 

 nor is it known from his companions, nor did any scholar say that this is permissible. Therefore, this is considered a newly introduced innovation (Bid’ah), especially if one says so as an act of worship or while believing that this is a Sunnah. It is confirmed that the Prophet 

 said: ”Whoever does an act that is not in accordance with ours (i.e. Islam) it is rejected.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Also, another Hadeeth reads: “Whoever introduces into this matter of ours (i.e. Islam) that which is not part of it, his act is rejected.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Shaykh Salih Al-Fawzaan, may Allaah protect him, was asked – as published on his official website – about the ruling on a Muslim saying to his Muslim brother ‘Jumu’ah Mubaarakah’ every Friday either by mobile messages or in forums. He replied saying: “This has no basis and it is an innovation, and it is not permissible to congratulate each other on (the occasion of) the day of Friday; no evidence has been reported (in this regard in religious texts) and the Salaf (righteous predecessors) did not do so, so it is an innovated act.”

Ibn al-Qayyim said in Badaa’i’ al-Fawaa’id (144):

“Allaah, the Sovereign, the Most Holy, the Peace, prescribed that the greeting among the people of Islam should be ‘al-salaamu ‘alaykum’, which is better than all the greetings of other nations which include impossible ideas or lies, such as saying, ‘May you live for a thousand years,’ or things that are not accurate, such as ‘An’im sabaahan (Good morning),’ or actions that are not right, such as prostrating in greeting. Thus the greeting of salaam is better than all of these, because it has the meaning of safety which is life, without which nothing else can be achieved. So this takes precedence over all other aims or objectives. A person has two main aims in life: to keep himself safe from evil, and to get something good. Keeping safe from evil takes precedence over getting something good…”

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) made spreading salaam a part of faith. Al-Bukhaari (12, 28 and 6236), Muslim (39), Ahmad (2/169), Abu Dawood (5494), al-Nisaa’i, (8/107) and Ibn Hibbaan (505) narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar that a man asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “What is the best thing in Islam?” He said, “Feeding others and giving the greeting of salaam to those whom you know and those whom you do not know.”

Ibn Hajar said in al-Fath (1/56):

“i.e., do not single out anybody out of arrogance or to impress them, but do it to honour the symbols of Islam and to foster Islamic brotherhood.”

Ibn Rajab said in al-Fath (1/43):

“The hadeeth makes the connection between feeding others and spreading salaam because this combines good actions in both word and deed, which is perfect good treatment (ihsaan). Indeed, this is the best thing that you can do in Islam after the obligatory duties.”

Al-Sanoosi said in Ikmaal al-Mu’allim (1/244):

“What is meant by salaam is the greeting between people, which sows seeds of love and friendship in their hearts, as does giving food. There may be some weakness in the heart of one of them, which is dispelled when he is greeted, or there may be some hostility, which is turned to friendship by the greeting.”

(B). DRESSING/CLOTHINGS

Women’s awrah

The ‘awrah of a woman in front of her mahrams such as her father, brother and nephew is her entire body except that which usually appears such as the face, hair, neck, forearms and feet. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women”

[al-Noor 24:31]. 

So Allaah has permitted a woman to show her adornment in front of her husband and mahrams. What is meant by adornment is the places where adornments are worn: the place for a ring is the hand, for a bracelet is the forearm, for an earring is the ear, for a necklace is the neck and chest, and for an anklet is the leg. 

Abu Bakr al-Jassaas (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer: The apparent meaning indicates that it is permissible to show one’s adornment to one’s husband and to whose who are also mentioned in the verse, such as fathers etc. It is well known that what is meant is the places where adornments are worn, which are the face, hand and arm… this implies that it is permissible for those who are mentioned in the verse to look at these places, which are the places where hidden adornments are worn, as it says in the beginning of the verse that only outward adornments may be seen by strangers (non-mahrams), but the husband and mahrams are permitted to see hidden adornments. It was narrated from Ibn Mas’ood and al-Zubayr that this refers to earrings, necklaces, bracelets and anklets. 

This applies both to the husband and to the others who are mentioned along with him. The general meaning implies that it is permissible for those who are mentioned to look at the places where these adornments are worn just as it is permissible for the husband. End quote. 

Al-Baghawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The words of Allaah, may He be exalted, “and not to show off their adornment”, mean that they should not show their adornments to a non-mahram. What is meant here is the hidden adornments, as there are two kinds of adornment, hidden and apparent. Hidden adornments include anklets, henna on the foot, bracelets on the wrist, earrings and necklaces. It is not permissible for a woman to show these, or for a stranger (non-mahram) to look at them. And what is meant by adornment is the place where the adornment is worn. End quote. 

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’ (5/11):  A man may also look at the face, neck, hand, foot, head and calf of a woman who is his mahram. According to this report al-Qaadi said: It is permissible (to look at) that which ordinarily appears such as the head and hands up to the elbows. End quote. 

These mahrams differ in the degree of closeness and risk of fitnah (temptation). Hence a woman may show to her father what she may not show to her husband’s son. Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Allaah mentioned husbands first, then He mentioned mahrams, and described them all as equal with regard to showing the adornment. But they may differ according to what is in their hearts. There is no doubt that for a woman to uncover in front of her father or brother is more safe than to uncover in front of her husband’s son. The extent of what she may show may differ, so she may show to her father that which it is not permissible for her to show to her husband’s son. End quote. 

Secondly: 

What is established among the fuqaha’ is that the ‘awrah of a woman with another woman is the area between the navel and the knee, whether the woman is her mother or sister or is not her mahram. It is not permissible for a woman to look at the area between the navel and the knee of another woman, except in cases of necessity such as medical treatment and the like. 

This does not mean that a woman may sit among other women with all of her body uncovered except the area between the navel and the knee. No one does that except women who are promiscuous and negiligent, or immoral and evildoers. The words of the scholars, “The ‘awrah is the area between the navel and the knee” should not be misunderstood, because this does not mean that this is how women should always dress and show themselves among their sisters and friends. No wise person would accept that and it is not what the fitrah (sound human nature) calls for. 

Rather the way a woman should dress among other women is in clothes that cover properly and express her modesty and dignity. She should not show anything except that which appears when she is working and serving others, such as the head, neck, forearms and feet, as we have mentioned when discussing mahrams above. 

A stern warning has been issued to those who make a wanton display of themselves and wear see-through or tight clothing, when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“There are two kinds of the people of Hell … women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait with something on their heads looking like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will not enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance.” What this means is that they are wearing see-through or tight clothes which show the size of their frame, or there are openings cut in the fabric which show their chests, breasts and other charms. This is widespread in parties and in general gatherings. And Allaah knows best.

(C). CELEBRATIONS – Christmas, Halloween, Valentines Day

Anas bin Maalik (radi Allahu anhu) said: “The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) came to Madinah and the people had two days when they would play and have fun. He said, ‘What are these two days?’ They said, ‘We used to play and have fun on these days during the Jaahiliyyah (Days of Ignorance). The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, ‘Allah has given you something better than them, the day of (Eid) Adhaa and the day of (Eid) Fitr.’”

[Sunan Abu Dawood – Classed as Sahih by Shaykh al-Albaani]

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Similarly it is forbidden for the Muslims to imitate the kuffaar by holding parties on these occasions, or exchanging gifts, or distributing sweets or other foods, or taking time off work and so on, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said in his book Iqtida’ al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem Mukhaalifat Ashaab al-Jaheem: Imitating them on some of their festivals implies that one is happy with the falsehood they are following, and that could make them (the non-Muslims) take this opportunity to mislead those who are weak in faith. End quote. 

Those who do any of these things are sinning, whether they do it to go along with them, or to be friendly towards them, or because they feel too shy (to refuse to join in) or any other reason, because it is a kind of compromising the religion of Allah to please others, and it is a means of lifting the spirits of the kuffaar and making them proud of their religion, 

End quote from Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 3/44 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a Muslim who makes the food of the Christians on Nawrooz (Persian New Year) and on all their occasions such as Epiphany and other feast days, and who sells them things to help them celebrate their festivals. Is it permissible for the Muslims to do any of these things or not? 

He replied: Praise be to Allah. It is not permissible for the Muslims to imitate them in any way that is unique to their festivals, whether it be food, clothes, bathing, lighting fires or refraining from usual work or worship, and so on. And it is not permissible to give a feast or to exchange gifts or to sell things that help them to celebrate their festivals, or to let children and others play the games that are played on their festivals, or to adorn oneself or put up decorations. In general, (Muslims) are not allowed to single out the festivals of the kuffaar for any of these rituals or customs. Rather the day of their festivals is just an ordinary day for the Muslims, and they should not single it out for any activity that is part of what the kuffaar do on these days.

End quote from al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 2/487; Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 25/329 

(D). HABITS

• saying “Bless you” after someone sneezes
• saying “touch wood”
• saying “cross finger”
• Eating “Qat”

A native plant of Horn of Africa and part of Arabian Peninsula  ‘Catha edulis’ , which is pronounced as Qat or Khat, chat, qaad, miraa , tohat and Kat has historically been chewed as a social custom for thousands of years .In Yemen it is Qat , in Somalia Jaad and in Ethiopia it is called chat.

Alas, ill-effects of usage, ruining people’s family lives, costs of treatment of chewers and users who suffer with different serious sicknesses  and loss of man hours at work because of addiction;  expense of hard earned monies together with contravention of religious ethos and criteria of permissibility of usage of substances that have adverse effect on health and faculties of normal human senses, members of Muslim community have not thus far refrained from indulgence in khat.

Isn’t qat an intoxicant? We are warned that intoxicants of any kind are an ‘abomination of Satan’:
They ask you about intoxicants and games of chance. Say: In both of them there is a great sin and means of profit for men, and their sin is greater than their profit. And they ask you as to what they should spend. Say: What you can spare. Thus does Allah make clear to you the communications, that you may ponder. Surah ~ Al Baqara – 2:219

O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (divination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan’s handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper. Surah ~ Al’Maeda – 5:090

(E). DEATHS AND FUNERALS

• Putting flowers on grave
• Adding marbles on grave
• Reciting Yaseen on the deceased
• Having remembrance prayer/du’a after 1 week of death, 40 days, 1 year, etc
• Serving meals during funeral
• The worst sin – asking from the deceased or even throwing coins around the grave for good luck

(E). WEDDINGS

• extravagance
• choosing “dowry” instead of Mahr
• Huge amount of demand on Mahr
• choosing race instead of the Deen
• Free mixing and music in weddings
• Implementing customs that involve shirk – e.g. stepping on eggs, etc
• Dressing of the bride – tight and sometimes exposing hair etc

(F). TREATMENT OF WIVES/WOMEN

Islam honours women greatly. It honours women as mothers who must be respected, obeyed and treated with kindness. Pleasing one’s mother is regarded as part of pleasing Allaah. Islam tells us that Paradise lies at the mother’s feet, i.e. that the best way to reach Paradise is through one’s mother. And Islam forbids disobeying one’s mother or making her angry, even by saying a mild word of disrespect. The mother’s rights are greater than those of the father, and the duty to take care of her grows greater as the mother grows older and weaker. All of that is mentioned in many texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah Prophetic traditions). 

For example, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents”

[al-Ahqaaf 46:15] 

“And your Lord has decreed that you wor`ship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.

And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’”

[al-Isra’ 17:23, 24] 

Ibn Maajah (2781) narrated that Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimiah al-Sulami (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad (battle) with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaah and the Hereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?”  I said, Yes. He said, “Go back and honour her.” Then I approached him from the other side and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaah and the Hereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?”  I said, Yes. He said, “Go back and honour her.” Then I approached him from in front and said, O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaah and the Hereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?”  I said, Yes. He said, “Go back and honour her (lit. stay by her feet), for there is Paradise.” 

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah. It was also narrated by al-Nasaa’i with the words: “Stay with her for Paradise is beneath her feet.” 

Al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, who is most deserving of my good company?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Then your father.” 

And there are other texts which we do not have room to mention here.  

One of the rights which Islam gives to the mother is that her son should spend on her if she needs that support, so long as he is able and can afford it. Hence for many centuries it was unheard of among the people of Islam for a mother to be left in an old-people’s home or for a son to kick her out of the house, or for her sons to refuse to spend on her, or for her to need to work in order to eat and drink if her sons were present. 

Islam also honours women as wives. Islam urges the husband to treat his wife in a good and kind manner, and says that the wife has rights over the husband like his rights over her, except that he has a degree over her, because of his responsibility of spending and taking care of the family’s affairs. Islam states that the best of the Muslim men is the one who treats his wife in the best manner, and the man is forbidden to take his wife’s money without her consent. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and live with them honourably”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19] 

“And they (women) have rights similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”

[al-Baqarah 2:228] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I urge you to treat women well.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 331; Muslim, 1468. 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

And Islam honours women as daughters, and encourages us to raise them well and educate them. Islam states that raising daughters will bring a great reward. For example, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood, he and I will come like this on the Day of Resurrection,” and he held his fingers together. Narrated by Muslim, 2631. 

Ibn Maajah (3669) narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Whoever has three daughters and is patient towards them, and feeds them, gives them to drink and clothes them from his riches, they will be a shield for him from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah. 

Islam honours women as sisters and as aunts. Islam enjoins upholding the ties of kinship and forbids severing those ties in many texts. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O people! Spread (the greeting of) salaam, offer food (to the needy), uphold the ties of kinship, and pray at night when people are sleeping, and you will enter Paradise in peace.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3251; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah. 

Al-Bukhaari (5988) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah, may He be exalted, said to the ties of kinship: ‘Whoever upholds you, I will support him, and whoever breaks you, I will cut him off.’” 

All of these qualities may co-exist in a single woman: she may be a wife, a daughter, a mother, a sister, an aunt, so she may be honoured in all these ways. 

To conclude: Islam raised the status of women, and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allaah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms of reward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice, to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allaah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to give gifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. Women have the right to a decent life, without facing aggression or being wronged. Women have the right to be educated; in fact it is obligatory to teach them what they need to know about their religion. 

Anyone who compares the rights of women in Islam with their situation during the Jaahiliyyah (pre-Islamic days of ignorance)or in other civilizations will understand that what we are saying is true. In fact we are certain that women are given the greatest honour in Islam. 

Many elements may involve

1. Shirk
2. Innovations
3. Free-mixings
4. Wasteful and extravagance
5. Injustice